The Future Is Scary…

A lot of things have been changing for me in a relatively short period of time. If you’ve read my last post, you’ll know that I finally got a new job in London. I’ve been applying for a while and then finally got an interview with a great company. There are three major positives about this job: (1) It’s in LONDON – only 35 minutes from my parents’ house and it means that we’ll eventually be moving back to the area; (2) The pay is better than my current job; (3) The company is extremely organized and UNIONIZED – they even have a separate HR office that does hiring. There are three negatives about this job though as well: (1) It’s only part-time – I have my schedule for June and I’m getting between 20 and 30 hours a week; (2) Tyler isn’t quite done his thesis yet and he’s still working at the University, so I have to commute for all my shifts for at least the month of June; (3) This job isn’t really that different from my current one – I’ll be working with 2 young women and 4 men instead of 12 girls, but they all have major developmental delays and disabilities (the good news is that having to restrain is very rare there – none of them are aggressive and one employee said that she’s NEVER had to restrain);

For June, I’m hoping to stay at my old company on my 8-4 shifts as much as possible. I only need to find coverage for 7 shifts for all of June, but I also work 4 extra days that I wouldn’t be working if I was just at my old company. Between both jobs, I’m working 186.5 hours in June and that includes 4 days of vacation that I took from my old company. We’re hoping that Tyler will be done his thesis by July 1st and then our plan is to move in with my parents for a bit. We’re hoping to look at more houses and maybe even have one built. Once Tyler has a job, we’re going to try to find our own place. We’re really fortunate that my parents are willing to let us move back there while we try to get jobs settled. It’s really hard to even go for interviews when you live an hour and a half away and when you already have a job. I had to put off my second interview for my new job because I couldn’t get there when they wanted me there.

All of this being said though, I’m really scared and excited about the future. It’s finally happening for us. I have a job in London! Hopefully this will lead to some more big changes this year. Getting our own house would be absolutely amazing! Hopefully Tyler and I can both get full-time jobs and then we can really start moving on the house front. I’m also starting to get the itch to start a family. I know that Tyler and I have only been married about 8 months, but I want to start a family so badly. I have always wanted to have kids and it just feels like I’m wasting my time waiting. I feel ready to be a mother. I feel like I have so much to give and yet no one to pass it on to. I feel like moving back near my family will be a big step towards this too. I don’t want to have a baby when I live away from my family. I never wanted my kids to not really know their aunts or their grandparents. I figure the next few years will be big years and I want to be close to my family to share them. My sisters are both engaged now and will probably be having kids within the next 3-5 years. My sister Rachel will probably be pregnant within the next year. Her husband-to-be is quite a bit older than her and I think he wants to start a family shortly after they get married. Plus, they’re both already working full-time and he rents a house from his parents. I just don’t want to miss anything.

One part of the future that I am not at all scared of right now involves my lifestyle changes. I have lost 21.2lbs in about two months. I don’t really notice the changes in my appearance, but other people have been lately. I still have a long ways to go though, but I’m excited to keep pushing through it. I’ve been exercising as much as possible and I’ve been watching what I eat.

Anyways, that’s my update. The future is scary AND exciting, but it’s been really hard trying to figure out all of the details. Hopefully I’ll have more information within the next few weeks. Wish me luck!

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