In Need of a Change…

I am desperately in need of a change. I need something to look forward to and the fact that every day is exactly the same is driving me bananas. I don’t have time for any projects or anything like that, so it’s not that I need something different to fill my time. I just need some things to start happening.

Tyler and I are still living with my parents until we find a house. We just can’t seem to find a house that’s really us. We’re thinking about building one in my hometown, but they can’t start right away and it’ll take four months for the house to be built. That being said though, I really want to live in my hometown. We’ve looked at quite a few houses in two other towns nearby, but nothing is catching our eye. We need a house that’s modern, but well-priced. Everything that is new and already built is ridiculously expensive. Before we can build a house, one other major thing needs to happen though and that’s what I’m waiting for.

Things are a little weird at work right now too. I’m currently working in a contract position until October of this year. I’m covering a maternity leave, but the person I’m covering for has actually been off for over a year already because she got sick during her pregnancy. A lot of my co-workers are saying that they don’t think she’ll come back, but I just want to know. She has until 4 weeks before my contract is over to decide if she’s coming back or not. If she does come back, I still have my position in Parkhill, but I don’t know if I want to go back. I liked what I was doing there, but the hours sucked and the drive there sucked even more. What I really want is to find a daytime position, but I just don’t think that there are any in my agency right now. The only real day jobs in my agency are either part-time hours and part-time pay or they’re management positions, which I don’t really think I have enough experience for yet. The one good thing about my current position is that I’m learning of some other agencies that do similar work that may be somewhere I can apply to in the future. For now, I’m content with  my job, but I want to have a plan set up for October in case my contract ends if the woman I’m covering for comes back from maternity leave.

I just feel like nothing is changing in my life and I desperately need it to. I thought that 2010 was going to be “my year” and it really wasn’t. Now I’m kind of down and wondering if 2011 is again going to be another bummer year where I just keep getting kicked while I’m down. I just want things to move forward and I want to start working towards my future. I feel so stuck and I HATE being stuck. I’m usually a very happy person, but lately I’ve been getting depressed very easily. I’m very touchy and will sometimes get angry or sad at the drop of a hat. Sigh…. I don’t know what to do with my life right now. I desperately need something to look forward to….


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