There are a quite a few things that I never thought that I would do as a mother. Or things that just surprised the hell out of me. This post ended up being a lot longer than I expected, so I’ll break it up into a few parts.
– I have always considered myself a very modest person. I never wore a skimpy bathing suit or showed my stomach or anything at all like that. But when it comes to my baby being hungry, I have almost no modesty anymore. I really tried the first few weeks to keep everything under wraps when we were visiting my family (I still keep EVERYTHING completely covered in front of my husband’s family and my friends), but because I never covered Olivia when she was nursing at home, she really hates being covered while nursing unless she’s falling asleep. I used to not want anyone to see me nurse (other than Tyler of course), but both my sisters and my niece have now seen my boobs more times than I can count. My niece especially. She’s fascinated by the whole process and, even when I shut myself up in my parents bedroom to feed Olivia when we’re visiting, she is there like a dirty shirt asking me “What Livi doing?” over and over again. She’s also peeked under my nursing cover more times than I can count. I’ve given up trying to hide it. My one sister already has a little girl and is 37 weeks pregnant and my other is 32 weeks pregnant, so they’ll be in the same boat soon enough anyways.
– I always thought mothers cleaning their kids nose with their hands and using their spit to clean stuff off their kids faces was gross, but I totally do this all the time. I’d rather wipe Olivia’s nose with my hand and then wipe my hand onto a kleenex. She hates kleenex and tries to eat them whenever they get close. And I don’t want it dripping into her mouth. I also totally use my own spit to clean stuff off her cheeks sometimes. Yuck, I know. I also have one of those sucky aspirators where I use a hose to suck snot out of her nose (there’s a filter to stop it from reaching my mouth, but still).
– I now calculate time in relation to Olivia’s age. For example, “Oh, we haven’t seen you since Olivia was _____ weeks. It’s so great to see you!” or “I haven’t had a haircut since Olivia was 3 weeks old.”
– I sometimes talk through Olivia to get Tyler to do things. A huge example of this is “Daddy! I peed!” I have no problem changing diapers. I do it all day, lol. But sometimes I just want Tyler to come be with us.
– I have spent entire days never “talking” at all. By that I mean that I SING every single thing I say to her some days. Usually if we don’t see any other adults. I also speak “Motherese” – you know, the high-pitched sing song voice that all mothers have.
– I worry about Olivia CONSTANTLY. Is she sleeping too much? Not enough? I even check on her breathing several times a night. I worry about her rolling over and crawling and walking. I worry about her driving (yes, I know that’s still 16 years away). I worry about her going to University in a different city. I worry about her going downtown to clubs when she’s at school and drinking too much. I worry about her meeting the wrong boy and something happening to her. I worry about muggers and murderers and rapists and just random people that could hurt her. I should probably stop watching crime shows!
– I used to be someone who would not wear clothing with any stains on them. If I spilled something, I immediately changed. I don’t even care now. Most days my clothes are completely covered in slobber and spit-up and pee by 9am.
– I consider my day a success if I’ve brushed my teeth by noon. Sad, I know.
Are you guilty of any of these things or am I just crazy? Do you have any other “confessions?”
Tune in tomorrow for more Mommy Confessions!